In the movies, you would see the girl that was plain and, she was pretty, but she was nothing special. And then she would get a makeover and suddenly her whole world changed. I admired the confidence that makeup gave to the person who wore it. And I thought that my cheap, $1.99 eye liner pencil from Hot Topic was the key to opening that door for me.
And honestly, it really was. I felt like my eye makeup was a cloak to hide my insecurities. Sure, it didn’t transform me into someone new, like you would see on TV. But accentuating my eye shape in a different way made me feel unstoppable. Once I discovered eyeshadow, I would never leave the house without doing my makeup first. My eye makeup made me feel like a different person–and to this day it still does.
When my baby sister entered her teens and wanted to play with makeup I was so excited. It was something I could teach her and it was something we bonded over. She felt the same insecurities I did when I was her age. Watching her being able to create her own transformation through makeup was like looking in a mirror. But the difference? She had me to teach her, something I didn’t have growing up.
I spent years researching cosmetic ingredients, formulations, manufacturing, etc. I wanted to create makeup that I would be confident in the quality and safety of the ingredients, that the bad ingredients were never used in my formulations, and that even if I weren't testing on animals--that any business that I partnered with would also never test on animals. I am very proud Dog-Mom and I cannot imagine the torture animals endure in testing facilities.
Then, it took me another year to test out and alternate formulations. It was a lot of sleepless nights and crying in the shower of frustration for the trials and lots of errors. It was not all candy and rainbows, it was exhausting and I was almost ready to give up. I could not understand what I was doing wrong. Years of research, failed formulations, and thousands of different ingredient combinations led me to shelf everything and take a month off.
Taking a break was the best decision. I slept on it, I felt refreshed, I felt like I was starting on a clean slate. It was then, that I was able to make my first ever eyeshadow - Violet Nights. The perfect combination of peony pink, lilac purple, and a slight blue hue. Finally, I created something that I was incredibly proud of and ready to share.